Sunday, October 12, 2008

Chinese Speaking - Female responses ONLY: Foreign girls and dating - Page 3 -








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Female responses ONLY: Foreign girls and dating
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Yang Rui -



Quote:

Some guys are just not interested in Chinese girls, and prefer an independent woman, who also
understands their culture, and with whom they can have a real conversation.

And so the borderline-offensive generalisations start. I usually like reading your posts Lu, but
to suggest there are no Chinese women who are independent and can have a real conversation is
ridiculous.

How do you think people in genuine longterm loving relationships with Chinese partners feel when
they read this stuff? I hate threads like this.



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woshimaeguoren -



Quote:

to suggest there are no Chinese women who are independent and can have a real conversation is
ridiculous.

I agree that this is a generalisation that should not be made. I know plenty of intelligent and
independent Chinese women.

But I'm happy this thread was started. It's nice to be able to see what other foreign women think
about the issue and also to not be dismissed by Chinese and Foreign men as "less feminine" than
Chinese women or what have you. I think we should all be careful what judgements we make about one
another. Everyone has a right to their choices in a relationship. Some men prefer their women to
be more "feminine," others more "independent" (that these two can't co-exist is just a matter of
perception, of course. Femininity is in the eye of the beholder). Either way, it's a personal (and
maybe cultural) preference and we should be neutral as to judgement on the matter.

Also, many MANY people may not "fit the mold" and may think for themselves and not reflect
cultural biases.










Lu -

Yang Rui (and Maeguoren): you're right, that was too generalizing, sorry to anyone who felt
offended. I'll rephrase: Some guys are just not interested in Chinese girls, and prefer a Western
woman, for various reasons.
Glad to hear you usually like my posts though Yang Rui :-)










roddy -

Given that this has gone a month without any responses I'll open it up to both genders. I will
close it if it goes either off-topic or downhill, or if I feel like it.










toygirl -

well, i might as well put my two bits in even if the post is dead. this can get to be a touchy
subject as we noticed in the few posts before this. it would be great to get on the whole cultural
exchange differences blah blah blah, but that would be a different thread completely!

i would say that most women willing to travel to a completely foreign country, whether it's for
work or for study, are not worried about so much about their dating careers as they are their
passport, visa, lodging and everything else. i think that those women who are willing to adventure
out into a new country are probably more open minded about dating chinese than the women who want
to stay in their comfort zone of american men as mandarinstudent has come across a lot in the
states.










atitarev -

As it is open for both genders, I'd like to say that I know a lot of Russian girls dating and
marrying Chinese guys. They share their problems on www.polusharie.com site (in Russian). So with
Russians both is true - a Russian guy dating a Chinese girl or a Russian girl dating a Chinese
guy. There's not so much difference in incomes between China and Russia (depends on the area, etc).

I wonder if it's to do with the economical status of Chinese males, not with their race. Are
Western girls look for a man with a better life standard? Not meaning to offend any girl but if
sex is not such an important thing, then what else is?










anonymoose -

As for foreign men in China dating Chinese girls over western girls, I think this is fairly
inevitable, just considering probabilities. All other issues aside, Chinese girls in China
outnumber western girls by some huge proportion, so if every girl has an equal chance, then
obviously most foreign men will be dating a Chinese girl. Thus this 'fact' alone cannot be
interpreted to mean foreign men prefer Chinese girls.










sarahkuang -

How much did Western guys consider about dating before they went to China?

How do Western guys think about an independent girl(physically and economically) without regarding
Western or Asian?










redmini -

i'm an australian chinese girl dating a local chinese guy and never had the dating scene in mind
before i came to china (be it a western or chinese guy). didn't think it was even possible because
of cultural differences between the west and the east, but it happened anyway when i least
expected it. regardless of race and culture, it's sometimes as simple as two people just having
similar values and the same outlook in life that can make them successful in a relationship.

that said, some western guys/girls date chinese partners out of curiosity. westerners that come to
study in china in the first place obviously already have an appreciation of the country and its
culture, so it's natural to follow on from that that they have an appreciation of its people too.

i think the economic status of men only comes into play when you're thinking of settling down and
serious about a long term relationship. otherwise, i doubt a girl would place that much weight in
assessing that area if it's just social dating.










xuechengfeng -

I occupied myself with Russian women in China. I didn't really notice any interest from Chinese
women, or maybe I just wasn't searching hard enough.












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